HEADLINE: Dark Hermite Arrested After Picking Up “KIDS” in Roblox Bus Roleplay

By Lolly The Cow News

“It was supposed to be a community shuttle — not a federal case!”

The notorious and enigmatic YouTuber Dark Hermite was arrested early Friday morning on Roblox after local authorities responded to a string of complaints about his behavior in the popular online game Roblox. Specifically, Hermite had been operating an unofficial “School bus route” in a public roleplay server — and things quickly escalated from simple transit RP to what authorities are now calling a “deeply concerning incident with disturbing undertones.”

“I Was Just Playing Transit Tycoon… Emotionally”

Dark Hermite, known for his erratic uploads and constant pleas for “peaceful immersion,” had reportedly been picking up random Roblox players in a large yellow school bus, promising them rides to “anywhere they desired” — including “secret destinations not on the map.”

“I was just helping people get around the city,” Hermite shouted as he was escorted away in pixelated handcuffs. “It was free. I even let people choose the radio station! Sometimes. Unless I was doing a monologue.”

One virtual bystander described the experience as “chill at first,” but said Hermite began whispering into the mic things like “You belong to the route now” and “We’ll never respawn.”

What Went Wrong?

According to Roblox moderators and local law enforcement, the issue wasn’t just the bizarre roleplay — it was that Hermite refused to let players off the bus.

“He turned off the exit button, muted the chat, and started slowly driving into the ocean,” claimed a user named VapeGod420_YT. “He said it was a shortcut.”

Screenshots show multiple avatars screaming “LET ME OUT,” while Hermite reportedly yelled back, “This isn’t Grand Theft Auto — it’s Grand Transit Allegiance!”

A Known Digital Menace

This isn’t Dark Hermite’s first run-in with Robloxian authority. In the past year alone, he has:

• Opened an unlicensed daycare in Brookhaven RP
• Tried to marry an NPC in Bloxburg
• Uploaded a 9-hour video titled “My Roblox Bus Is My Church”
• Been permanently banned from MeepCity for “philosophical monologues during pizza delivery”

“He’s a huge fan of YouTube and truly believes Roblox is a form of documentary art,” said digital sociologist Dr. Karen Botley. “It’s both alarming and… weirdly committed.”

Hermite Speaks Out (Again)

In his post-arrest vlog titled “I Was Detained for Being a Digital Commuter”, Hermite doubled down:

“Society isn’t ready for free transportation. I’ve been unfairly targeted. Roblox is my canvas. YouTube is my soul. The bus is my truth.”

“At first, it was just a regular ride. He said we were going to Pizza Planet… but then he turned off the exits, dimmed the lights, and started playing his own YouTube videos over the bus speakers. I knew something was wrong when he whispered, ‘Nobody leaves the route.’ I screamed in chat, but he just typed back: ‘Trust the journey.’ I’m still emotionally in that bus.

And I had no idea he was a registered offender in three roleplay servers. If I had known, I never would’ve boarded.”

— Chloe Link, survivor of the 47-minute Roblox hostage commute

Cow-mentary by Lolly 🐄

While most of us use Roblox to build homes, race cars, or become dogs for some reason, Dark Hermite saw it as a place for deep, misunderstood chaos.

His bus may have had no brakes, but his commitment to weird virtual roleplay and excessive YouTube uploads? Unstoppable.